


Maybe I Don't Act The Way I Used To 'Cause I Don't Feel the Same About You

by f_ckromeoandjuliet



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 03:09:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8473144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/f_ckromeoandjuliet/pseuds/f_ckromeoandjuliet
Summary: A story in which Adam recounts his relationship with his best friend and how it turns into more.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells/gifts).



> [Playlist that goes with the story](http://8tracks.com/awsomeinabottle/maybe-i-don-t-act-the-way-i-used-to-cause-i-don-t-feel-the-same-about-you) Enjoy?

My body aches. Everything is sore and all I want to do is sleep. The only problem is that sleep is elusive after stressful events and tonight has been a trainwreck. We lost meaning that for the first time in four years Samwell will not advance to the frozen four. It also means it was Justin and I’s last hockey game in college. Scouts were there.

Checking us out.

Giving me the major heebie jeebies.

They stared like they were trying to judge more than just our performance on the ice. Like they were trying to judge our life. (I should probably stop talking like Justin and I are same person. I just feel so close to him that I can’t think of myself without thinking of him.) I know neither of us will be drafted. Providence had their eye on me. Jack even put in a good word for me, but I completely fucked it up. We were creamed because I couldn’t pull through after Justin got injured. Some frog was put in throwing me off my game because I can only play with Justin. I failed him.

The bed creaks ripping me from my self deprecation. A figure makes himself comfortable under the covers. They don’t even look at me. That shows a level of intimacy I could never explain. Suddenly the figure turns towards me and asks in a sleepy voice, “Why didn’t we have a Kegster? We may have lost, but we can still celebrate our last game.”

“Don’t get worried, Justin. Bits promised to throw us the greatest party ever. Just not tonight.”

“Okay. goodnight. Love you.” He gives me a kiss then turns away again. I’m glad he didn’t get majorly injured, but I’m still worried. To drown out my fears I pull up the playlist I made for our relationship. It calms me down in times like this.

_Learn To Fly - Foo Fighters_

    Even though I hadn’t met him yet it’s still apart of our story. I had gotten into a fight with my parents when I took my first college tour. They didn’t want me going to Samwell because they said that a school with such a large art department can’t possibly have a very good economics program. (Can’t you smell the bull shit in that?) I think it was because despite everything they say they didn’t want me to be part of the one in four LGBT students. They wanted to cling to the idea of grandchildren. (And now they love Justin, but they resent me for falling in love with a guy instead of a girl. I should have lied and told them I was gay instead of being honest about being bisexual.)

    Back to my point. I fell in love with the campus. I felt closer to home at Samwell than I did in my childhood home. I accepted the scholarship as soon as I got home. Since the last truly compatible D-team graduated the spring before I was told that I would be expected to play with another incoming freshman named Justin Oluransi.

_You - The 1975_

    We met on our final college visit. He was late. The excuse that’s still given to this day is that he saw me and got nervous. (I don’t believe him, but i’ll let my coral reef sweet talk me if that’s what makes him happy.) First time I saw him he was tall and lanky. He didn’t look like a hockey player to me. It wouldn’t be until later that he’d gain the muscle.

    We instantly connected. At the end of the tour Shitty asked how long we knew each other. Neither of us wanted to admit that we just met.

_Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad - Meat Loaf_

I started to crush on him. Bad. I knew that he didn’t like me like that. I still had hope though. I knew he cared about me and needed me so I guess two out of three ain’t bad.

_Songs I Can’t Listen To - Neon Trees_

I tried to kiss him. We were drunk. I was acting like a fool. He confirmed what I suspected when he pushed me away saying he was straight. I was heartbroken.

_Just Friends - Gavin Degraw_

Justin started dating March. Yeah, I had wingmanned for him when he was trying to impress her, but I thought it was a joke. I didn’t think they would seriously date and kiss. You know, stuff we should’ve been doing together. At that that point I realized that we were just friends and nothing else.

_All I Want - Kodaline_

They broke up. Is it rude to be happy when two people break up? (Second question, why am I asking you? You’re a figment of my lovesick brain.)

    I was over the moon when they broke up. I still didn’t think I had a chance.

_My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson_

    I have to admit something before I continue my story. Justin and I’s relationship became strained while he was dating March. I loved March (and April considering she _was_ my girlfriend for a short period of time) but I didn’t approve of March dating my bestfriend. Now we’re cool. Justin and I go on double dates with March and April. They’re an adorable couple.

    Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way. For months Justin and I went days without talking and when we did talk we were arguing. It was rough.

    I had been studying in the attic. Justin shouldn’t have gotten back from spring break for another two days so I felt relaxed. Then he slammed the door open to our room almost giving me a heart attack. He had a strange look on his face. “Holster. We need to talk. I’ve been thinking.”

    “What about? If it’s not important then I don’t want to hear it.” I have to admit that I sounded harsh. I was being an asshole.

    He simply shrugs. “I know you’re in love with me. That’s no secret.”

    “So you're here to mock me?”

    He laughs. It sounds sad and painful. “No. Hear me out, Adam.” At that time he never called me Adam. I knew these was serious. “I did some thinking during break. Actually, not just some. A lot of thinking. You know how I told you I was wasn’t into you.” He sits down beside me.

    “Yeah.”

    “Well I had a friend growing up. His name was Chad.”

    I cracked a smile at that, “You’re friends with someone named Chad?”

    He laid his head on my shoulder and I didn’t scoot away. It was progress. “He’s a great guy. Not like the Lax Bros. We grew up playing hockey together.

We were a pair in high school. It was never just one of us but both of us. Angel and Bugs.That was our nicknames.” He had a lazy smile on his face. I swore this would be the moment when he said they were dating. “Well Angel and I had a mutual friend in high school named Henry. Henry was a year younger than us and we kinda adopted him. Showed him the ranks. Kind of like how we,” He poked me to illustrate his point, “did with Bits.”

    “This is an interesting story Ransom, but what does this have to do with us?”

    “Shh. Listen. As I was saying Angel and I adopted Henry. We called him Pillsbury because he was short, round, and never went outside. He was one hell of a goalie though.

Then Angel and I both went off to college leaving Pillsbury on his own for his senior year. I lost touch with Pillsbury, but Angel didn’t.”

At that point I thought he was going to say he was dating this Henry kid. “His parents split halfway through the year so he moved to Nova Scotia. He stayed there for college and got really into surfing.I found out about the surfing thing two days ago during brunch. Wait, I’m confusing you.”

“Yeah.”

“Let me back up for a second. When I went home for Winter Break I was expecting to have dinner with Angel and his older sister like I have for the last seven years but she informed me that he wasn’t coming home this year. I was confused, but he promised to catch up with me over spring break. That’s why I went home instead of staying here with the rest of the the team. Angel and I went to brunch. That’s when all the most important announcements are made. It was the same diner he would take Pillsbury and I to in high school so I knew something life changing was about to be said. We sat down. Caught up on how we were doing.

I told him about you. About how I was given a new nickname and about Jack. He told me about this girl he knew who accidentally ate paint and had her stomach pumped. The hockey players called her Rambo because of her violent personality. I told him about Lardo and how Rambo and Lardo would probably be best friends if they met. We were killing time.

Then a guy walked in. He was short, but buff. He had bleach blonde hair. It was literally sun bleached. And he was tan as if he lived outside. I had no clue who he was at first. Angel was really excited though. Turns out it was Pillsbury.

Pillsbury sat down beside Angel. I found out the reason Angel wasn’t at Christmas was because he spent Christmas in Nova Scotia with his boyfriend, Henry. They told me that it just happened. Neither of them thought they were gay, but connected in a way that neither had with anyone else. Seeing them made me realize that I don’t want to lose you. I want to take a chance. I want to let myself fall in love with you.”

“Justin, I-”

_Happy With Me - HOLYCHILD_

    It was the song playing as he kissed me. God and Pandora Radio both had an odd sense of humor with that joke.

    Justin tasted like Starbursts and Chocolate Coffee.

    For the rest of the afternoon we cuddled and talked about life. “So are we like dating?”

    “I think so.” His voice was barely a whisper in my ear.

    “It’s not really any different than before.”

    “Yeah, but it feels a lot nicer.” He pulls me closer planting a kiss on the nape of my neck. “I’m going to enjoy dating you.”

_Sleeping With A Friend - Neon Trees_

    You get the point of the song. Not going into detail there.It happened during a party. Let’s just say that Bits walked in drunk and almost peed his pants.

_Everyone Is Gay - A Great Big World (Or Getting Bi - Crazy Ex Girlfriend Cast)_

    It was early in the morning. The sun hadn’t even risen yet. We were supposed to be up in an hour for practice. It was early January and the heater broke so we were buried under a mountain of blankets cuddling. Bit’s voice drifting up through the vent with random bursts of jack laughing. Then they went silent and Justin and I shared a knowing look.”How long,” he whispers, “until they tell us they’re dating.”

    “Months,” I can see my breath in the air, “Years maybe. We both know they’re to stupid to realize they love each other.” He pulls me closer as Jack’s booming laugh fills the haus then a faint, “If you’re going to be this disobedient to your captain then maybe I should show you how to behave.” I want to gag at how disgusting Jack’s flirting is.

    “Adam,” I turn towards him and our noses are touching.

    “Yeah, bro.” I pair the tremendously heteronormative term with a soft kiss.

    “You know how we’re dating?” The blood drained from my face.

    “Yeah,” I shifted away.

    “Don’t do that. It’s not like that. I was going to say that I think I’m in love with you.”

    “Oh.” He pulls me closer.

    “Yeah. I’m majorly, totally, butt crazy in love with you.”

    “Did you just reference Clueless?”

    “Yes, Adam. You’re the Josh to my Cher, but that’s beside the point. I’m trying to say that I think I might be bi.”

    “You're an idiot.” I then plant a soft kiss on his cheek.

    “What? Isn’t that people do when-”

“Has it crossed your mind who you’re coming out to?”

“Yeah, my best friend.” A confused smile came to his face.

“You’re boyfriend.” Realization crossed his face.

“Oh. Who should I come out to?”

“I don’t care, bro. It’s four-thirty in the morning and I just wanted to cuddle. For all I care you can scream it down the stairs.” He got up taking half our blankets with him. As he opened the door I realized that he was going for it. “Justin I-” It was too late by that point.

My name is Justin Oluranti. I’m dating my best friend and I’m a raging bisexual.” In rapid succession comes a series of voices.

“I’ll make you a pie. It’ll be Pecan.” Bitty.

“We already know.Now shut up and go back to sleep.” Lardo (from where she was sleeping in Shitty’s room)

“Let’s cancel practice for once since no one will be able to concentrate after this news.” Jack. I almost fall out of bed at that announcement. Then I hear the flirting start up in the kitchen again and I realized I’m wasn’t the only one in the haus trying to come to terms with things.

_Take Me Dancing - The Maine_

    It was Reading Week and he was crying from stress. I tried to calm him, but every time he opened his book he’d burst into tears again. I finally convinced him to stand up and we danced. We danced until his studying was just a distant memory and the shuffle of our feet were the only noise in a vast sea of silence.

    Justin got As on all of his finals and he cried a second time out of happiness.

_Where Does The Time Go - A Great Big World_

    Justin and I walked into Jerry’s and we both knew what the big news was. (Also I found out that morning that “I should have know Jerry’s served brunch,” and “My whole existence is a travesty that I’d never eaten Jerry’s brunch,” and “To put away the milk when I’m done because the jug under our bed smells rancid.” That last one I could have done without the scolding.)

    That brunch made me realize exactly how precious the last four years had been. Two of my best friends are graduated and living grown up lives and I’ll be in the same position in less than a year.

    Last time I looked back I was a freshman. _Where does the time go by?_

_Soundcheck - Catfish and The Bottlemen_

    I spent Winter Break with the Olursansis. It was my first time meeting them as Justin’s boyfriend and I was scared out of my mind at what they’d think. We picked up his sister Dalia in Syracuse, New York and the three of us road tripped the rest of the way there.

She kept asking about my intentions with her little brother and what I’m getting a degree in. I could hear the love in her voice as she told me not to hurt her little JuJu and the punishments if I did.

When I met his parents and his six year old sister, Zola Ann, I felt comfortable and like I could be a part of the family one day.

_Sleep On The Floor - The Lumineers_

    Justin’s face is buried in my shoulder and he’s crying. Half happy. Half sad.

I read over the acceptance letter he got in the mail with a sigh. “What are you worried about? You were just accepted into on of the most prestigious medical schools in North America.”

“I-,” he sniffles, “can’t leave you. I don’t want to leave you.” His voice is weak and shaky.

“I won’t leave you. We can get an apartment near school or something. You don’t have to do this alone.”

“I can’t move in with you. Sorry.”

“Why? Is something wrong? You can tell me anything.” I’m searching his face for answers.

“It’s nothing,” he reassures me quickly, “It’s stupid.”

“No it’s not. If you’re upset I want to fix your problem.”

“Well, my parents raised me very conservatively. No sex until marriage-”

“We blew that.”

“-and no living with your partner until you’re married.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I threw away most of the things I grew up hearing, but that always stuck.” He intertwined our fingers to prove what he means. “Basically that became one of my rules for falling in love.”

“Okay.” I slip my class ring off my finger and hand it to him, “I guess this is your’s now.”

“What is this for?”

“I was hoping this moment wouldn’t be for at least another year and I would have a ring, but I guess this works too.”

“What are you rambling about?”

“Justin Abeo Oluransi, will you marry me?”

“Not until you propose.”

“I just did,” disbelief laced through my tone.

“No you didn’t. You handed me a ring with no explanation.”

“Fine.” I climb out of bed and get down on one knee. “Justin Abeo Oluransi, the love of my life, will you make me happy and marry me?”

“Of course. Why’d you even ask? You knew I’d say yes.” I grit my teeth and stand up.

“I regret everything that just happened.”

“I don’t. Let’s go shopping then we’ll tell my family once I have a proper ring.” He fidgeted with the class ring which only went to his knuckle.

As we walked through downtown Toronto I remembered that I didn't have the money for an engagment ring so we opted for checking pawn shops. After plenty of looking and a little soul searching we found a ring he liked and a set of wedding bands.We agreed to get married on the american side of Niagara Falls.

Despite what I told him I didn’t regret a single thing.

_American Dream - MKTO_

It was only last week. My mom drove down from Buffalo to meet Justin and I in NYC. We were looking at an apartment. Mom and Dad were kind enough to pay for our first six months rent so Mom got the last say, but it didn’t matter. I fell in love with the apartment. It wasn’t the nicest place ever, but reminded me of the haus.

I loved how the floor creaked and it smelled faintly of hard liquor and burnt chocolate. (A throwback to before Bits started a Samwell.)

    I fell in love with the pull out bed and the misplaced singing fish mounted on the wall. I looked over at Justin and he had the same look in his eyes as me. “I think we’re home.” My voice disrupts the calm silence.

    “Yeah. I think we’ve hit jackpot.” This is _my_ American Dream. A pretty boy and a haus of my own.

***

    I’m finally tired enough to fall asleep. Justin and I’s legs are intertwined and his face is buried in my neck. I can feel his breath steady against my skin. “I love you.” He doesn’t hear. He doesn’t need to because he already knows.

    I fall into the best sleep of my life.

***

**Ten Years Later**

_Future Looks Good - OneRepublic_

    “Uncle Jackie!” The kid that a few seconds earlier was tucked between my legs yelping in pain is now sprinting towards the newcomer. Only one of her afro puffs secured as she leaps into his arms. Jack gives her a warm smile.

    “How are you doing, Jennie?”

    “Good. I saw you on the magic box.”

“Do you mean the television?” He laughs at her forgetting the word.

“Yeah. You won.”

“I know, Kiddo. I was there.” He sets her back on the ground and she obediently comes back to me so I can put the other half in a ponytail holder. Jack sits down on the floor since I’m perched on the couch. “Merry Christmas.” His voice is little and airy as the door open and closes. Bitty and a teenage girl the exact same height as him carry in laundry baskets full of presents.

“Where do these go?”

“In the Basement under the tree.” Jennie looks up realizing there's new people.

“Hi Ophelia. Hi Uncle Icky.” We tried to teach her to call him Uncle Itty Bitty, but she couldn’t quite say it. Jennie tries to jump up, but I still have her by the hair.

“Hold your horses. I’ll be back up in a minute to give you some sugar.” I finally manage to pull her hair into a puff and send her on her way. She runs down the stairs to her Uncle Icky and cousin.

“Don't you love the domestic life?” Jack is laying on the floor contently. He looks like a happy starfish.

“Yeah. It’s great. How’s Ophelia doing?”

“Good. She’s adjusting really well. Sometimes it’s stressful because she thinks we can’t parent a teenager because we’re young.”

“At least you don’t have to deal with the terrible twos and having to do little girls’ hair.” If on cue my other daughter, Viola, climbs into my lap. “Daddy, can you braid my hair?”

“Sure. Get on the floor.” She sits down on the floor as Jack props himself up on his elbows.

“I wouldn’t mind. Nothing children can do will faze me.”

“You’d be surprised.” The three of us look up at the new voice. Standing in front of me is Caitlin and Chris Chow, the goalie for the San Jose Sharks. Children in matching Sharks hoodies go scattering over the house.  Viola gets up and unlike her sister I don’t try to stop her.

One little Chow girl stays with her parents though. She climbs up beside me on the couch as her mom falls back on the couch exhausted. “Where’s Uncle Ransie?” Her voice is soft and sweet.

“He’ll be home from work pretty soon.” As if speaking about him summons him he appears. He gives me a soft smile as he hangs up his coat.

“How was waking the girls?”

“It went fine. They were disappointed about not getting to open presents from Santa, but they got over it when I made French toast.”

“That’s nice. Where are they?”

“Probably the basement with the other kids.” He nods and goes on a manhunt to find them.

“Now where’s Andy?” Andy is the younger Nurse-Poindexter boy. Before I can tell her that I don’t know he comes stumbling in with the grace of his father.

“Thank you for finding him.” They run off together pulling Andy’s older brother behind them. They pass Justin who sits down so close to me he’s almost on my lap. I lay my head on his shoulder.

Derek almost falls over sitting down on the floor and is only saved by William. “‘Sup, Dude. Where’s Lardo and Shits.” If on cue they walk in and I almost choke on my spit. Lardo looks like she swallowed a beach ball. I didn’t even know she was pregnant, or _wanted_ to be pregnant.

Everyone just stares. She looks down nonchalantly. “Oh yeah. Shits did that. Did no one notice?”

Justin clears his throat, “I guess on that note, Merry Christmas.”

“And a happy New Year,” I add.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope this wasn't the worst thing ever and Merry Christmas, Readers. ;)


End file.
